I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
