I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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