his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
