you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
