toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize