Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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