Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
