i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
