just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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