Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
