you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
