i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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