I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
