Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
