Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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