I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
