The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
