whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
