He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
