I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
