I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
