But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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