Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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