theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
