I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
