I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
