If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Four minutes until I can fart!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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