i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
