she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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