She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
