id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
