am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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