they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
