you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
