is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Text me some of your sweat
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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