I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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