he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
