Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
