I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
