hotel room ftw
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
