it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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