saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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