What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
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I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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