..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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