so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
