Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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