the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
