they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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