Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
