I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
