I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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