I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
