Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
