Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
