So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
