I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Are we still banned from the library?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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